But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. James 3:17
In a "Peanuts" cartoon, Lucy says to Snoopy: "There are times when you really bug me, but I must admit, there are times when I feel like giving you a big hug."
Snoopy replies: "That is the way I am...huggable and buggable."
How do you respond to those relationships that really "bug" you? How do you respond when others mistreat you? How do you respond when others criticize you or talk about you? How do you respond when others put you down in a meeting or at a social gathering? How do you respond to the person at your work or school who is constantly taking jabs at you? Or maybe it is not that anyone has personally maligned you, but there is a misunderstanding that has occurred and you seem to be declared as the one in fault. How do you handle those situations?
James 3:17 (above) was given in the context of believers who were critical and malicious with each other. He alludes to the core problems when he speaks of believers having envy and selfish ambition in the previous passage. In other words, there was jealousy among some believers and others who had personal agendas which probably led to a desire to control. This resulted in malicious gossip, misunderstandings and false assumptions.
James, who was so practical in his application of truth, gives us a road map for handling difficult relationships when there is tension and misunderstanding. In reality, James shows us the spirit and conduct of one who is truly Spirit-filled and finds himself in such a difficult relationship. We might say that James gives us the Holy Spirit's x-ray of the heart.
The first word James gave was the word "pure" which simply meant having a pure motive when attempting to resolve a difficult relationship. The second word on this roadmap that I will discuss here, is the word,"peaceable." As I view this, I think this speaks of one who is not abrasive, judgmental, harsh or vindictive when seeking to resolve a conflict. They truly come in peace, seeking to understand and to be reconciled, not to win an argument.
One bulletin blooper stated: "The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict." The truth of the matter is that conflict can not be resolved without a heart that desires to seek peace.
I loved the way Job's fourth friend named Elihu approached Job. In contrast to Job's other friends, Elihu, who had the truth, approached Job in humility. He said essentially, "Job I could be wrong but here is what I think God would have you know and if you think I am wrong, tell me." That is an example of approaching others in peace.
In Matthew 5:9, Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." In Ephesians 4:3, the Apostle Paul said, "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
The scholar Edmond Hiebert speaking about the word "peaceable" in James 3 said, "It will not compromise with sin to maintain peace. But even when fighting against sin, it hungers for peace, yearning to heal all divisions by its wise counsel."
James seems to drive this home in verse 18, stating that peacemakers sow and harvest righteousness in peace. Equally, his intimation is that true righteousness or godliness can not be produced in a climate of bitterness and self-seeking. Righteousness only grows in the greenhouse of peacemaking. What does this look like? I would say, it is grace in the face of a difficult relationship.